Developing an attachment with a baby who appears (and often is) fragile and who is attached to wires and tubes and living in an incubator can be difficult for parents.

At times, and especially early in the course of the NICU stay, even touching a baby’s hand or foot can be irritating to him. Fortunately, the NICU staff can be very helpful in coaching parents to develop a loving relationship with their baby. Learning to read cues from the baby allows touching and fondling at the right time. Participating in his care by changing diapers or cleaning the mouth with a swab are good ways to start knowing his personality. Personalizing the space surrounding the baby welcomes him into the family; photographs of parents, siblings, the family pet, a drawing by an older sibling are good ideas.

As premature babies gain strength, parents can hold them. Skin-to-skin contact, often called ‘kangaroo care’ is especially pleasant for parents and is equally pleasant for babies. Later, feeding by bottle or breastfeeding are important activities for parents.

Parent story

"Our first son arrived early, and he had to stay in the NICU. I spent all my spare time in the hospital, expressing every feed, and nasally feeding him. I would go home at the end of visiting hours, and express during the night, and head back in the morning with more milk. It was such an anxious time. We could not hold him, and could only touch him through a hole in the incubator -- and that was after we were sterilized. Once he came out of the incubator, he was able to breastfeed and he nursed like there was no tomorrow! We took him home the following day. He has had many issues since then, and I am positive they relate to his arrival and first days on earth".
Sellina

This article is an extract from our book: Caring for your newborn - How to enjoy the first 60 days as a new mom
 

By Dr Robert Dillard - Dr Dillard is the Professor of Pediatrics at the Wake Forest University School of Medicine. He is the Medical Director of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the Sara Lee Center for Women’s Health at Forsyth Medical Center.

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